I'm a member of the Downtown Neighborhood Watch and say: definitely call it in.

At the very minimum it is a noise violation. At the most, you are preventing a violent situation.

If you don't think it's time-sensitive (no real hitting) and they are just yelling at each other, call the non-emergency Eastern Police District number: 201-547-5477. You will be connected with an operator. (S)he will give you her operator number. Remember this number, it's her ID, good to know if there are problems later.

Keep the report simple. "I'm at 123 Grove Street, Apt. 4 and the couple in Apt. 6 have been shouting at each other for 20 minutes. This is a habit with them and I'm afraid that they might hurt each other. Would you send someone over to check it out?" Don't give them a long story, don't get emotional, keep it short and sweet.

If the operator refuses to take the information, get her operator number, and ask to speak with her supervisor. If you don't want to bother, (I sometimes don't), just hang up and call back. You'll get a different operator. It isn't the operator's decision to send out officers - that's the sergeant's call - so the operator shouldn't be giving you attitude.

They may ask you for your name and a number they can call. You don't have to give this if you don't want to, but it is NOT reported to non-policemen, so your neighbors won't know it was you.

Police also respond to incidents based on the number of calls they receive, so if they do not respond in 10-15 minutes, call again. I have done this and two calls usually gets a cruiser at the address pretty fast.

Trust your gut. If it feels wrong to hear them yelling, your gut is telling you something. You have the right to live in a quiet apartment where you don't hear people shouting. You have the right to live in a place where there is no threat of violence.

But not getting involved in your neighborhood's problems is a terrible excuse. Look what happened to Nixmary Brown, Kitty Genovese, Elisa Izquierdio. People didn't want to get involved... and now all of them are dead.

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If there are any JC police officers reading this thread: you're probably laughing this off and saying we're unfair, blah blah blah.

If you're reading this and feeling anything other than acute embarrassment: shame on you. Shame the f on you.

For my incident I actually called the police station directly, not 911 and still got a beat down.

Two nights after the police beat me we had the same problem again with noise and banging on the roof. We dared not call the police but we also couldn't have people messing around on the roof near the roof hatch and skylight.

We instead walked to the north precinct. We were treated rudely and told by the cops behind the desk that "There's nothing they can do" and basically treating us like idiots. I stated clearly to the officer behind the desk "So I am here to report that whatever was on my roof two nights ago is back, making noise in the middle of the night and messing with the skylight roof hatch and you are basically saying sorry but we don't answer those calls" He said something to the effect that this is jersey city and asked if we had good locks.

Anyway there were two other officers who heard us and decided to come to our building and check it out. Maybe they felt bad that I could barely walk and my face was swollen to twice its normal size from the last time I called for help.

This shows the ignorance and incompetence perfectly. Guys, we're on our own here in JC, always were, probably always will be. New residents take warning. JC is not for the weak!

When I lived in the Heights, there was a teenage girl who was involved with a gang member near my street. She was about 16 or so. I found her crying outside of my house one very hot day holding her newborn. Her boyfriend had smacked her around then kicked her out of the house. I was warned by neighbors not to get involved because of the gang affiliation.

A few weeks later in the middle of the night, she came to my door hysterical - her boyfriend had beat her up again. I called 911 and explained to the dispatcher that I needed the cops to come help this young girl. The dispatcher actually told me, "If her boyfriend hit her, she needs to help herself." She said this in such a nasty and judgemental way, I was shocked. I actually had to BEG to get a cop to come to my home to help a teenage mother who was getting the crap beat out of her on a regular basis.

Another time, a drugged out, disheveled woman tried to break into my house at 2:00 am. She stood on my porch, explaining to cops that the house was hers. Then she switched her story and told the cops she had just been raped. They basically told her to "get lost," which she did quickly enough. As she was leaving, I heard one of the cops say, "Who would want to rape her?"

So I hesitate now for sure to get involved. Will the cops come? Will I have to beg a dispatcher to get a cop to come? What will the cops attitude be? It's completely in the back of my mind.

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JM- I thought the exact same thing. In the Kitty Genovese case many claimed they thought it was a lovers quarrel and they did nothing, you posted a perfect example of what may happen if we do nothing. I've learned that if something doesn't feel right, it's probably not.

I've emailed two people in law enforcement who are proficient in this area with the original posters question, I will post their replies to the question when I get it. Many people read these threads and it's important we all know what we to do when we aren't quite sure.

I'd call the non-emergency number. At the very least, it's a noise complaint. Either that or you are saving a life.

Never forget Kitty Genovese.

If you've lived (or currently live) in the Heights, you've probably had that neighbor too. I had this neighbor, a couple, who would fight late at night and mostly it was her, going on and on, everyother word began with the letter "F" and usually I would ignore it as much as possible, but they also had kids next door which didn't sit too well with me.

So one day during fighting she banged on my door, looking a wreck and drunk as heck and begged me to call the cops because her man was beating her & the kids. So I did. Then the cops came and she denied everything, cursed me out & cursed the cops out and slammed the door shut....now i live somewhere else and my neighbors are very peaceful...but i feel for you.

In the future, should you call the cops? Yeah, I'd do it again, I'd rather call and there be nothing wrong, than not call and then something bad happened that could have been prevented.

I had a similar incident in my building a few years back. We would constantly hear a couple fighting, and sometimes it got real bad. To the point where I knocked on the door to ask them to be quiet. I think that's simple way, to let them both know that other people can hear them, and it might deter an escalation of the situation. Unfortunately, in this case, it didn't. A few days later, it turned physical and we had to call 911.

As horrible as it sounds, you kind of have to go against your gut, and mind your own business. But if you hear her, or even him, yelling something that seems in defense of a physical action, call 911 immediately. Nothing is worse than seeing some girl bruised up b/c her bf or husband is a scumbag.

Henrisuz,

I think I might be your neighbor. In any case, I've had a similar situation, with the couple downstairs from me fighting, sometimes for hours at a time, sometimes every night for weeks (but there are lulls of several months too). The woman's rapid-fire top-of-her-lungs angry rantings can last for hours, and it's mostly her voice finding its way up into my apartment (although I can also hear the man).

I have considered printing up a picture of Jerry Springer, along with the hotline for his show, and taping it to their door, just to send a message, but I think I'm above that (and it might be counterproductive in the end). I have also considered getting in touch with the property management company, as their antics are certainly a violation of the "quiet enjoyment" clause. But I feel that before complaining to the property management place, I should confront at least one of them directly, just to give them a chance to remedy their behavior without external intervention. It's just that it's a very awkward thing to have to do, and by nature I'm quite non-confrontational. I play my guitar loud on occasion, and I guess I consider a certain amount of noise audible from the neighbors as a sort of karmic balance - but I think my downstairs neighbors are pushing it...

Just yell out 'Shut the f**k up or I'm calling the cops'

If noise continues, call the non-emergency number.

The best way the cops can keep the crime down in JC is to intimidate the very people who call them. Crime figures look great on the 'books' if people only call when they themselves or as witness are at moments from death!

Damn, that is one heavy, hell of a question. I can only say: you'll know, when you know, meaning........?

If you don't have to call the cops in this town, don't. It's like waking up an orphaned, pissed off bear.

Maybe start screaming back louder than they are, I think that's what I would do, out scream them, have a blast, go nuts!

What to do? Crazy neighbor couple, or should I say guy. Screaming at his wife all the time. It gets pretty bad if we can hear it next door. Is it abuse, Do we call the cops or is it some type of foreplay? When does a concerned neighbor get involved?