Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Really?

>>Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

A: During periods of no activity, sufficient chemical mixing occurs in alkaline batteries to allow a higher current flow than during the previous low peak.

>>Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?

A: They know you'll be getting more money soon.

>>Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?

A: Because they know the stars 'fact' is wrong and assume everything else you say is as well.

>>Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Tarzan was played by a modern human.

>>Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

A: Poor script writing.

>>Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

A: They were usually given crash orders without warning, or may decide to crash in the middle of an operation that they previously assumed would be successful.

>>If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

A: Modern apes are also descendants of a past species of primates, and are not directly related to us.

>>Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

A: The color of bubbles has to do with the refraction of light inside the surface of the bubble, in a water layer between the lipid layers making up both the inner and outer surfaces of the bubble itself. This layer is almost always 1 molecule wide, smaller than the wavelength of any specific color of light. Therefore, bubbles are not white, but are rather colorless.

>>Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

A: No.

>>Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

A: Many people have roommates.

>>Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

A: Because walking over to the garbage can is harder.

>>Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

A: There is a 50/50 chance of getting the right end in any sufficiently random bag sample group.

>>How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

A: They find openings that are much smaller than a rather larger human being is programmed to notice / search for.

>>When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

A: Because, unlike here on the internet, it's difficult to create conflict and be a jerk to someone's face in a public setting over a fairly trivial matter.

>>Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

A: Our natural instincts and reaction time / mobility are rusty from centuries of sitting around doing nothing.

>>In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

A: The difference in humidity changes our perception of temperature between summer and winter.

>>How come you never hear father- in- law jokes?

A: For the same reason there's no antonym for "misogyny".

And my FAVORITE...
>>The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

A:

"Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father- in- law jokes?

And my FAVORITE...
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you."