Jersey City man honored as New Jersey Big Brother for helping after a real brother's murder

Tuesday, June 01, 2010
By TOM SHORTELL
JOURNAL STAFF WRITER

A Jersey City man is New Jersey Big Brother of the Year.

Joel Ruffin, 35, a vice-president at Goldman Sachs, was honored last week for his work mentoring a local teen whose brother was murdered in December.

Last year, Ruffin signed with Big Brothers Big Sisters, a nonprofit group that pairs a young person with an adult mentor. By September, he met Jaleel Perry, an eighth-grader at School 16.

The two met four hours a month and talked about everyday matters, such as how Perry was doing in school. The relationship took a life-changing turn in December, when Jaleel's brother, Alterik, 19, was shot to death while leaving a party in Greenville.

Ruffin alerted Big Brothers Big Sisters of the tragedy and helped the family get services to cope with the loss. And he spoke with Jaleel about not seeking retribution over his brother's death.

Eventually, their conversations turned to talks about avoiding the lifestyle Alterik had chosen. Authorities believe a 16-year-old killed Alterik in a gang dispute.

"I realized we were at a tipping point. Jaleel was going through something I could only imagine. Instead of revenge, we needed to take it and turn it into a positive," Ruffin said.

Jaleel gives Ruffin credit for helping him turnaround his grades. "It seems like it's easier in school now," Jaleel said.