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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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Wearing high heels is a conscious decision that women make ... so I would absolutely never stand on a Path train because I saw a women walking in all wobbly from the high heels. If it doesn't make you comfortable, then don't wear the damn things. Nobody told you to wear those. That being said, I generally am a gentleman, just because it was how I was raised.

What gets me is that all these women wear high heels that add 3 or 4 inches to their height, when it is the WOMEN who want the MEN to be tall. Why the hell aren't we, the men, wearing shoes that make us taller! Strange world...LOL.

Posted on: 2009/8/7 16:19
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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OH no. oh no. Do not even go there.


Finally a sane person shows up. I almost did a double take, like I read his post wrong. If anything, Iwitness is closer to the truth. I was just pointing out the opportunities are out there. Yes, the ladies haven't gotten full equality just yet, but we are making strides. To imply they have it better because of alimony and maternity leave is off-the-mark.

Iwitness, I see your point and its valid, but you have to admit, 50 years ago, women had it much worse.


They sure did. I'll still give up my seat and hold the doors open, though. Because they still go through shit I will never have to, including but not limited to childbirth.

Posted on: 2009/8/7 15:49
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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I don't believe anyone here can dispute that helping another fellow human being out is a good thing for society. Whether simply offering a seat up to a pregnant woman, or one carrying a baby, or moving over to allow a young child to simply stand in the front car to enjoy the view from the window....it's everyone's duty as a citizen of humanity to try to be nice to each other, because kindness is infectious, as is nastiness. SO the less nastiness the better for all involved.
Now, on a safety front, pregnant women and fathers/mothers holding small children are already off-balance. Do you really want to contribute to one of them possibly falling, hurting themselves, the child, or the unborn baby when the train jerks about? Simply because you were self-righteously thinking 'bout equality or whether the child is riding free vs. your paid fare??

If an adult male is holding a large, unwieldy package on his torso, (similar to a pregnant woman is) then I would hope that a fellow rider might offer his seat up, as would I, to anyone I see might need some help.
Let's not take it all to the women VS men talk, it's not really the point, is it? (for the record, although I always declined because I never really needed the seat, I rode the PATH throughout my pregnancy, rarely being offered a seat, or a pole to hold on to. The handful of times I was offered, was USUALLY by a woman and usually they mentioned they had children, so they were also mothers.)
Just because some folks decided to have children, and others did not, is not the point, with child, or childless, we need to think of how we can contribute to the overall happiness and wellbeing of our society, and not try to take on 'tit for tat' or 'not my problem' attitudes.

Posted on: 2009/8/7 15:47
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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Don't fathers get leave under Family Whatever Act?

Posted on: 2009/8/7 15:40
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OH no. oh no. Do not even go there.


Finally a sane person shows up. I almost did a double take, like I read his post wrong. If anything, Iwitness is closer to the truth. I was just pointing out the opportunities are out there. Yes, the ladies haven't gotten full equality just yet, but we are making strides. To imply they have it better because of alimony and maternity leave is off-the-mark.

Iwitness, I see your point and its valid, but you have to admit, 50 years ago, women had it much worse.

Posted on: 2009/8/7 15:37
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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trambone wrote:
no they aren't treated equally. Its called alimony. Its called maternity leave. Why shouldn't a father be allowed to help with his new born child.


OH no. oh no. Do not even go there.

The only reason men don't get maternity leave is because they do not give birth and cannot breast feed. And you know what? The 6 weeks we women do get IS NOT ENOUGH. In Sweden both parents get leave... I think women get a year and men get 6 months (don't quote me... it's something like that).

In our country, it's about $$$$ so women are forced back to work way too soon. Babies are left with strangers. It sucks.

Recovering from child birth takes time. Taking care of a newborn is exhausting. Don't ever think maternity leave is some sort gift women get... it is barely adequate. And yes, having a child is a choice and well worth it, but it is not easy.

I WISH my husband was allowed paternity leave... but only to help me out!

Posted on: 2009/8/7 15:32
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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When I was pregnant, men rarely offered me a seat. It was usually the women. I'm having a tough time understanding all this hostility to doing the right thing by people who cannot move fast enough knock other people out of the way to get a seat on the train - whether it be because of pregnancy, crutches, or advanced age. (You'll note I didn't say high heels.)

Posted on: 2009/8/7 15:23
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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no they aren't treated equally. Its called alimony. Its called maternity leave. Why shouldn't a father be allowed to help with his new born child.

Posted on: 2009/8/7 15:14
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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The proof is all around you. We dont need an amendment to prove we are all equal, just look at all the women in the work force, our secretary of state, our most recent supreme court judge. You seriously think women don't have ample opportunity in this country?

No chip, I just feel if women are going to take us to task for not standing, they should be held equally accountable.

Posted on: 2009/8/7 15:11
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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it's not about equality. it's about manners, across both sexes. if you see someone who could use that seat more than you could, why not offer it up? whether it's a man or a woman.


Well the idea that men need to give up their seat harkens back to the days before we were all equal, and thats all I am saying. I fully agree its about manners, and I would happily give my seat up to a preggers or a old person, but so should an able bodied woman. Thats all I am saying. Its not all on guys shoulders.


Where is the proof we are all equal? As far as I was told the ERA was never ratified. I just don't act like a gentleman because when I'm on the path with around 40 pounds of equipment people aren't even nice enough to try to move out of the way let alone give me a seat.

Posted on: 2009/8/7 15:07
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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it's not about equality. it's about manners, across both sexes. if you see someone who could use that seat more than you could, why not offer it up? whether it's a man or a woman.


Well the idea that men need to give up their seat harkens back to the days before we were all equal, and thats all I am saying. I fully agree its about manners, and I would happily give my seat up to a preggers or a old person, but so should an able bodied woman. Thats all I am saying. Its not all on guys shoulders.

Posted on: 2009/8/7 14:59
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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I_heart_JC wrote:
Jennymayla, you are right on the money. Giving up your seat to someone who needs it more is just good manners, and makes living in a crowded city that much more bearable.

I once gave up my seat to a perfectly healthy-looking woman who happened to be wearing a pair of killer heels. I had on sneakers. It was simply a nice thing to do.


Well, quite frankly I have no idea why (or how) women wear ridiculous high heels. Especially when walking or train riding is included in their day. Nobody notices your shoes except other women!!!!


Yes, other women notice the shoes themselves, but men notice the way they make you walk.

Posted on: 2009/8/7 14:51
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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I_heart_JC wrote:
Jennymayla, you are right on the money. Giving up your seat to someone who needs it more is just good manners, and makes living in a crowded city that much more bearable.

I once gave up my seat to a perfectly healthy-looking woman who happened to be wearing a pair of killer heels. I had on sneakers. It was simply a nice thing to do.


Well, quite frankly I have no idea why (or how) women wear ridiculous high heels. Especially when walking or train riding is included in their day. Nobody notices your shoes except other women!!!!

Posted on: 2009/8/7 14:48
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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Wow this thread has really gone off the rails. I thought this was an open letter to our path nemesis, not a forum to b*tch about equal rights & seating privileges of pregnant women.

If only someone would post about dog-sh*t and then we could really tie together all that unites us Jersey City Folk...

Posted on: 2009/8/7 3:56
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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One time I had just gotten my haircut in the city and then jumped on the subway to go downtown. This totally cute young man, maybe 19 or 20 got up from his seat and asked me to sit down... like a gentleman. He did not want to have sex me... he just thought I should sit because I am a female. He clearly was visiting from the South or some other part of our country. So here I was, a tired, over-worked, new mom with a fresh hairdo and a seat on the subway given to me from a cutie... wow. It just made my day.


It's nice to be treated like a lady. Eventhough it only happens once in a blue moon. I am glad I didn't say, "oh, no thanks" and instead I graciously accepted.

Posted on: 2009/8/6 18:30
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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To my Path Nemesises (Nemesi?):

The A-hole who is more concerned with downloading an App on his Iphone than walking in a straight line.

The guy with the 7ft wide umbrella open when it isn't even raining.

That same guy with the 7ft wide umbrella swinging it and almost impaling the people behind him.

The person in front of me who stops short to answer a text message.

The person who realizes at the turnstile that they need a path card to enter and the proceed to rummage through their purse/murse to find it.

The a-hole who stands on the left side of the down escalator and wonders why everyone is staring at him...

The person who stands in front of the open door on the train, blocking entry for the rest of us, so as not to give up his great position to exit first at exchange place. (If you replace "door on train", with "Door on elevator" at exchange place, it reads the same...)

To the sweaty guy who has to lean on the hand-pole with a complete disregard to those of us who are holding on to it.

And to Bernie Minenblatt, Debbie Duhaime, the loud cell-phone-talker going into the tunnel ("Hello? Hello? I think i'm going to lose you in the tunnel"), and all the other obnoxious people....

Thank you for riding NJ Transit! It just wouldn't be the same without you...

Posted on: 2009/8/6 18:29
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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I've said it before on here and I am going to say it again:

Its not just the man's responsibility to get up for a pregnant woman. Women should do it too. Why? Because this is not 1953.

You fought for equality and won. You can't have it both ways ladies.

Posted on: 2009/8/6 18:24
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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heights wrote:
So no one would crowd the train near the doors, another reason they have the 3 door cars.


Yes, that does make sense. But without the pole to hold on to, how are people expected to stand in the centre of the car? Anyway, the few times I rode the new train it wasn't crowded. I'll reserve judgement and wait to see how it fares when its packed.

Posted on: 2009/8/6 18:15
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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sam2goody wrote:
With the newly designed cars, why did they remove the center pole? We should've got more standing space and fewer seats and also some more poles to hold on to.

So no one would crowd the train near the doors, another reason they have the 3 door cars.

Posted on: 2009/8/6 17:53
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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Its presumptuous to club all pregnant women as invalids and as being in dire need of a seat. But there are some women who do need help. I rode the PATH to work till the last day and luckily was fine throughout. It was great when someone did offer me a seat, and without exception each time it was another woman who gave me a seat. The only time a man offered me a seat, it was a labourer who didn't speak English. I have to say I got some education about the PATH riders during my pregnancy.

I still do give my seat to a disabled person, except at 33rd street. I feel if someone is disabled and they needed a seat, they could wait for the next train instead of getting into a crowded one. On the flip side, for the non-disabled, if you do not want to offer your seat, its fine, but just make sure you do not push a pregant woman or jab her. That is just not acceptable!

With the newly designed cars, why did they remove the center pole? We should've got more standing space and fewer seats and also some more poles to hold on to.

Posted on: 2009/8/6 17:36
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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If only the Port Authority would install the seats that flip up at rush hour as the MTA has proposed / tested. There would be a lot more room and then we wouldn't need to argue about giving up seats to old women and perverts.

Posted on: 2009/8/6 14:52
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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I think JadedJC is right; the PATH is so unpleasant it brings out the worst in people. Its sort of like the apocalypse every time you ride the thing, so your fellow passengers are relying on survival instincts.

Posted on: 2009/8/6 13:45
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Let's try not to generalize, because the PATH train just brings out the worst in people. The ride is so unpleasant sometimes, that I just plug in my iPod, close my eyes and tune out the world. It's not that I wouldn't give up my seat to an elderly person or pregnant lady - I just don't see them sometimes in that press of hot, sweaty bodies. On the flip side, I got into a car at 33rd Street one evening recently. It was hot and I was sweating rivulets because I had been practically running in that steamy tunnel to make the train. Three passengers were concerned enough to offer me their seats - I declined all three times. I thought to myself: "this is unusual, why are all these people suddenly being nice?" Then I caught my reflection in the window. Because it was a hot day, I was wearing a loose fitting empire-waisted dress. That's when it dawned on me: "Crap, they think I'm pregnant!!!"

Posted on: 2009/8/6 12:31
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PathPathPath wrote:
August 5th With my son firmly gripping the handle I noticed a clearly pregnant passenger (6-months, i\'m guessing) looking for a seat; none of the healthy/young \"seated\" passengers even looked once. At Pavonia the car added two more pregnant passengers; one that was clearly at 8-months or better...Again no passenger moved. Finally after a group of fellow passengers began to get make some noise one young man stood up just before we reached speed in the tunnel. Awful, really awful...Can\'t stand for three or four stops.

The trip home which started at 5:30 from 9th Street after picking up my five-year old who enjoys sitting up front and looking out the window. Normally this is no issue what-so-ever, but not August 5th; not today. Today standing with legs spread around two bags of workout gear and reading a copy of Runners World with a pair of horn rimmed glasses, plaid long-shorts, button down short sleeved shirt, a smattering of \"tough guy tattoos\" a very androgynous looking fellow with frosted spiked hair wearing \"ladies\" NB running shoes would not allow my 5-year old to grab the handle and look out the window of a nearly empty train car. Four feet of space to his/her left would have allowed for this person to move the needed five inches to let a little boy have a little summer fun! This dude would not even budge for one second...had my 5 year old not been there I would have flipped, but I thought of how that might look to my growing boy; road rage in a train car...not cool. The passengers that saw this were equally upset as I found out after the ride, somehow I should have have just done something; so next time I see this type of behavior I will.

I guess chivalry is finally dead. Men at least should get up for a pregnant woman if not any woman at that, I do. As far as moving a few feet for a wide-eyed child why couldn't he do that ? I've seen some people not adhere to the conductor's request to move away from the conductor's standing area feeling they paid for a trip and are soaking up their entitlement fee. There are a lot of walking bi-polar time bombs out there just waiting for an excuse to explode so just take it where it comes from.

Posted on: 2009/8/6 11:18
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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Rule #7...Men give up your seat to anyone who is A: most if not all women past the age range of 45, B: Children under the age of six, C: pregnant women regardless if they are going to work or just out for a shopping trip in the city, D: Older gentlemen who seem to struggle with the motion of the train...That' the damn rule idiot;


I think you got this wrong. Men give up their seat to:

A: Hot chicks they want to sleep with
B: Not so hot chicks they think might sleep with them
C: Pregnant hot chicks
D: Cougars

Posted on: 2009/8/6 4:53
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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I was on the train today and this 80 year old pregnant woman with a five year old was.....

Posted on: 2009/8/6 3:32
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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80-year olds...Are you suggesting that one should not give a seat to a senior? wow, you are more of a jackass than the jackass I met today if that is the case. Xerxes you seem like a s*%t stirrer for no reason. I'll bet you'd move five inches...correct? Rule #7...Men give up your seat to anyone who is A: most if not all women past the age range of 45, B: Children under the age of six, C: pregnant women regardless if they are going to work or just out for a shopping trip in the city, D: Older gentlemen who seem to struggle with the motion of the train...That' the damn rule idiot; right after rule #6 for opening doors and holding them open until everyone passes...Learn something useful and stop your fantasy of being in "300."

Posted on: 2009/8/6 3:11
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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Did you pay a fare for your 5 year old who you think is entitled to the VIEW while riding the train?

Do pregnant women going to work deserve special rights on trains? Do they deserve special rights at WORK? Do they deserve more consideration than an 80 year old?

Is there a dichotomy between a woman saying, "just becasue I am 6 months pregnant there is nothing I cannot do at work"..and then claiming a horrific difficulty in transportation becasue of the pregnancy?

Is it akin to "I am woman hear me roar" and then complaining about someone not opening a car door.

Posted on: 2009/8/6 3:00
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August 5th was a real \"red-letter day\" in my travels on the Path system. It started on my usual \"33rd Street\" line from Grove at 8am on the fifth car. Here I was met with the usual crush of passengers but left with plenty of room once we got started. With my son firmly gripping the handle I noticed a clearly pregnant passenger (6-months, i\'m guessing) looking for a seat; none of the healthy/young \"seated\" passengers even looked once. At Pavonia the car added two more pregnant passengers; one that was clearly at 8-months or better...Again no passenger moved. Finally after a group of fellow passengers began to get make some noise one young man stood up just before we reached speed in the tunnel. Awful, really awful...Can\'t stand for three or four stops.

The trip home which started at 5:30 from 9th Street after picking up my five-year old who enjoys sitting up front and looking out the window. Normally this is no issue what-so-ever, but not August 5th; not today. Today standing with legs spread around two bags of workout gear and reading a copy of Runners World with a pair of horn rimmed glasses, plaid long-shorts, button down short sleeved shirt, a smattering of \"tough guy tattoos\" a very androgynous looking fellow with frosted spiked hair wearing \"ladies\" NB running shoes would not allow my 5-year old to grab the handle and look out the window of a nearly empty train car. Four feet of space to his/her left would have allowed for this person to move the needed five inches to let a little boy have a little summer fun! This dude would not even budge for one second...had my 5 year old not been there I would have flipped, but I thought of how that might look to my growing boy; road rage in a train car...not cool. The passengers that saw this were equally upset as I found out after the ride, somehow I should have have just done something; so next time I see this type of behavior I will.

Really nice day on the Path Train. I hope that someday \"Pat\" has a child and gets on a hot Path platform and hopes that the 15 minutes can be passed with the help of a window seat for that \"tired and bored\" child and that a fellow passenger smiles and moves the needed five inches or more. Nice going jackass, I hope you also trip and fall while you go on your next run

Posted on: 2009/8/6 2:38
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Re: An Open Letter to You, My PATH Nemesis
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ianmac47 wrote:
When its 87 degrees outside with 70% humidity and the subway platform is 147 degrees without any ventilation, people on the subway are probably going perspire, and they probably aren't going to smell very nice either, whether they are wearing deodorant or not.


Very true. However, to be real here, it's been more noteably stinky on the path for a month or so. This hot steamy weather has only been around for a few days.

Posted on: 2009/7/31 15:40
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