Mayor Jeeramiah Heeley's spokesman Joshua Heinie announced today that the Mayor will be back in court again.

"Mayor Heeley remains focused on the important issues facing our city: combating crime, especially out-of-control gang-related activity by Hispanic young ladies, creating jobs in the beverage and addiction treatment industries, and spending money like a drunken sailor because we have an election coming up and no city budget in place.

"Yet some people are trying to distract voters by bringing up issues from the past which no one cares about. While the words came out of Mayor Heeley's own mouth, we hold Steven Fulop and his campaign responsible for these vicious attacks.

"The pressure of fighting this interloper has forced the Mayor to set aside the issues people care most about; imaginary conspiracies, closet Republicans, his close friendship with Barack Obama, his endorsement by Barack Obama, and his six year old picture of Mayor Heeley with Barack Obama.

"Instead, Mayor Heeley has been forced to argue yet again with voters, and remind them of the things they least want to think about; bribery and him naked.

"Because of these vicious self-inflicted smears, Mayor Heeley is forced to once again take legal action. The Heeley campaign will this Monday morning sue the Mayor's penis for defamation of character. The suit will be filed in small claims court. See Exhibit A, below."

"I'm Jerry FUBAR and I approve this message."

Quote:

Just you wait! Surprise blockbuster endorsement announcement coming soon!

People can get so easily confused. I just want everyone to know that when I go drinking in Hoboken, I have a driver.



I'm JerryFUBAR and I approve this message.

I know you haven't seen much activity out of the mayor's office these past 3 years. After the Jersey Sting, I thought it best to say and do as little as possible.

But it's election season. You will not believe the number of ribbon-cuttings, ground-breakings, baby-kissings, and photo opp-ings that will be coming your way between now and May. I don't care how much it costs, as long as I get the credit. It's time to look busy!



"I'm Jerry FUBAR and I approve this message."

Oren Dabney is a fine public servant, and worth every penny. The amount we're giving him is far less than the $7 million he overspent his budget.



"I'm Jerry FUBAR and I approve this message."

"Public confidence in the political process is NOT weakened when Jersey City residents see..."

1. My campaign keeping the bribe money it received

2. My Deputy Mayor and campaign treasurer sent to jail for corruption

3. My running mate and Council President sent to jail for corruption

4. My running mate and Ward B Councilman sent to jail for corruption

5. My running mate and unsuccessful Council candidate sent to jail for corruption

Public confidence in the political process is only weakened when Jersey City residents see a smart, hard-working, honest young upstart try to take the job that is rightfully mine.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. The Great and Powerful Jerry FUBAR has spoken.



"I'm Jerry FUBAR and I approve this message."

Brawling outside a bar?

Couldn't happen. Jeremiah Healy (the son) would never do something Jerramiah Healy (the father) wouldn't.

Oh wait...

Ethics panel criticizes Jersey City Mayor Healy for Bradley Beach incident



"I'm Jerry FUBAR, and I approve this message."