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I thought a woman of loose morals was a "tart".

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All my life I assumed this was a crumpet, but with the American spelling.

I wish the JJ would start including diagrams of these stories or better yet, hire an animator to create a little cartoon, they're getting harder and harder to follow.
Let me try:
The "boyfriend (no name given) has a fight with his roomie.
The "boyfriend" sends his 8 months pregnant girlfriend to go carry out his stuff including a TV.
Jose L. Dones, unable to deal with the prospect of facing life without TV, freaks out, yells and bangs on the doors.
Jose decides he needs help detaining the 22 year old 8 months pregnant girl and calls for backup. He calls Harry D. Rhodes and tells him to "bring the guns".
Harry "brings the guns", actually just one gun, and 75 bullets. They decide they only need to load 2 bullets in the gun.
Jose L. Dones's brother Deron M. McGuire decides this would be an excellent time to drive up from Sayerville and visit his brother. He insists on entering the house against the wishes of the police and is arrested for his trouble.
Jose forgets to flush his bag of weed down the toilet.
Jose has a bullet proof vest.
Jose has a safe containing $19,000, a small portion of which he could have used to buy himself a very nice flat screen HDTV of his very own and be enjoying Dancing With The Stars in the comfort of his own living room instead of the rec room at the Kearny jail.

I think it has something to do with the name. It sounds like some kind of cheapo sugar water orange drink.

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Stoop ball? Did you grow up rich? We couldn't afford stoops, we played curb ball. If you hit the corner just right with a new Spaldeen that sucka flew.
Unrelated - not that I am interested in playing but, has anybody heard of any organized stickball around here? Stickball is the real game.

The way to the 2nd STREET stop from the Heights is to walk down Mountain Road which is the extension of Franklin St. It is a steep zigzag switchback road which sees a lot of traffic lately but I wouldn't do it too late at night.

One surefire way to make a traffic violation problem go away is for you to become romantically involved with the judge. Do you know who the judge will be? Hopefully it is a female judge but probably not so you better get busy dress shopping and hitting the cosmetics counter in the mall for makeup advice. Find out what bar the judge hangs out in or where he eats lunch, make yourself a fixture there. Then, when the time is right, sashay by his table and casually drop your handkerchief. You don't have much time McGrieves, you gotta work fast.
Hope this helps.

The problem with most of these "no turn on red" signs is that they're placed too far back from the corner and mounted on a low pole and printed in plain black and white, easy to miss as you approach the intersection. Especially if there's a truck parked in front of it. I don't understand why they're not mounted up next to the traffic signal where you can't miss it.

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But if the cop doesn't show up, don't they usually postpone the case and keep bringing you back until he does show up? The cop is not going to drive up here from the shore on his own time. They only go to court when on duty on their shift, on city time.

It says on the ballot, 6AM-8PM.

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7 bikers? That's a pretty small biker gang. Next time they show up, go downstairs and kick some ass, we got your back. Let us know how it works out.

I have some medical questions.
So, being a doctor,I assume you were able to analyse your own stool sample using the blender and some commonly found household chemicals? Also, is the delusion of being married when you are really just cohabitating a common symptom of food poisoning? Also, do you watch House? If he is so smart, why does he always get everything wrong before he finally gets it right 5 min before the show ends?

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This is the the proper way to do a stick up. A bandanna, no tacky ski mask or hoody and "I'll blow your head off" is a classic line, it is firm yet not trendy, vulgar or disrespectful. Old school, I like that in a mugger. If only he had opened with "stick em up". I would pay extra just to hear that.

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Wait, did you say "men's" and "boutique" in the same sentence? A man does not buy his clothing in a "boutique". He goes to the army and navy store or K Mart or, if he is affluent, Sears. A man does not buy clothing in a "boutique".

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Did you read the original post? The car was bought, the deal was sealed. The dealer reneged on the sale because they (so they say) had the car up for sale on ebay at the same time they were trying selling it off the lot. They probably got a better price on ebay (maybe) so they screwed the walk-in buyer. They suck. They are used car dealers therefore they suck.

Question for those who have had fios installed: Do they remove the copper drop line from the pole to your house or do you have the option of keeping it?

I have a question about my water and sewage bill. I notice that I am billed for water units consumed and sewage charges are directly proportional to water used. What about the water I drink? It does not go down the drain, well yes it might get peed down the drain but what if I pee at work, out of town? And what about when I sweat during the summer? Why should I be billed for sewage in JC when I pee and sweat out of town? I am being cheated.

I watched Bernie drive to court on TV this morning. He was riding in a Kia. A Kia! He ran out and bought a brand new Kia just to ride to court.
Lawyer:" Bernie, baby, don't bring the Mercedes to court. There's gonna be cameras there. It looks bad"

I'm a little confused about this subject. Are we talking about backflow preventers on fire sprinkler systems to keep the scuzzy rusty sprinkler pipe water out of the potable supply or backflow from the domestic house piping from entering the public system? If it's just the house water, why can't the check valve be built into the meter? Last time they changed my meter it took all of 5 min and the Egyptian French water company paid for it.

Did you get a water bill? There was an insert in the envelope announcing that United Water will now be known as Suez Environnement/United Water. They will have a new logo on their uniforms and trucks. It looks like it was designed by a six year old.

Suez is a French company, the largest water company in the world. Why would you name a water company "Suez"? Suez is in Egypt. When you think of Egypt, does water come to mind? No, you imagine yourself crawling through the desert, dying of thirst, seeing mirages. Egypt is made of sand and pyramids. It is 200 degrees in the shade. They ride camels there because camels don't drink much water. No, the word Suez does not inspire thoughts of cool, clean, fresh water. And I'm not too crazy about the French connection either. Didn't they find traces of sheep poo in French bottled water?

I really don't know what a sustainable city is. I could guess but I'd probably be wrong and I am too lazy to google it.
And WTF does this mean?
"an international model in stakeholder consensus negotiations and sustainable development."

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Bambergers? So that would make you like, what? 65 years old?

I'll keep my ears open and see what I can find out. Oh, does the $100 free art supply reward include spray paint?

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WHAT? That's a joke, right?

"You are lacking etiquette."
Them's fightin words where I come from. The usual retort is something like " and YOU sir, are a sniveling pantywaist, of questionable ancestry I might add." This is usually followed up with a slap across the face with a glove. Then it gets really ugly.

So she gets a diploma for for going to school for just ONE day? And she cut one of her classes to hang out in the cafeteria? The dumbing down of the educational system is destroying this country! I feel sorry for the unsuspecting employer who hires her only to find out she is really not proficient in Powerpoint at all. Oh yeah, I'm sure her excuse will be, "but I thought you said needlepoint".

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WHAT? MTA? For Christ Sake!. MTA? Do you know where you are? MTA is the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. It is a NYC agency. When you cross the river going west, you are in NJ. There is no MTA here. Here's a helpful tip. You see the NJ in front of NJTransit? That's a hint. It means New Jersey. Get it?

You think unleashed dogs are a problem?

(CNN) -- A woman has been hospitalized with life-threatening injuries after a pet chimpanzee attacked her at a friend's home in Stamford, Connecticut, police said.
When the chimp ripped off a side mirror and tried to enter a police cruiser, officers shot the animal multiple times.

Travis is shown in 2003, when he escaped and "wreaked havoc" on the streets of Stamford, Connecticut.

Charla Nash, 55, had just arrived at her friend Sandra Herold's house when the chimp, named Travis, jumped on her and began biting and mauling her, causing serious injuries to her face, neck and hands, according to Stamford Police Capt. Rich Conklin, who said the attack was unprovoked.

Herold had called Nash to her house to help get 14-year-old Travis back inside after he used a key to escape.

While her friend was being attacked, Herold tried to pull the primate off her, but was unsuccessful.

She then called 911 before stabbing the chimp with butcher knife and hitting him with a shovel. Neither fazed Travis, who police said was like a child to Herold.

Stamford police later shot the chimp multiple times after he attacked an officer inside a police cruiser, Conklin said.

Travis returned to the house, where police later found him dead. Conklin estimated that Travis weighed close to 200 pounds.

The police captain also said this isn't the first interaction his officers have had with Travis; the chimp escaped in 2003 and "wreaked havoc" on the streets of Stamford for a couple of hours.

In 2005, a different chimp escaped from California's Animal Haven Ranch and chewed off a man's nose and genitals.

During an interview after that attack, wildlife expert Jeff Corwin told CNN's Anderson Cooper that chimpanzees are "absolutely powerful."
"It's often said that an adult chimpanzee weighing in at 150 pounds is three to seven times stronger than a human being," Corwin said.
"The thing about chimpanzees is, we sort of look at them through our rose-colored cultural glasses of the cute little chimp in the 'Tarzan' movie. Those are very young chimps. Chimps grow up, they become very powerful. They are very complex in their behavior. They have a whole range of emotions, including violence and anger."

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I have no idea what that means. Is it like getting your eyebrows braided or dreadlocked?

70?! I'm not running a friggin nursing home here! Can't I just supply the tenents with THESE and keep the heat at 55??